high people should be assigned attendants
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
