Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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