is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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