There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
