Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
