just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I party with great urgency now.
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