so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
