nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
