Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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