guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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