she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
