we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
