By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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