I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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