i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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