He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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