Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
