wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
3pm strippers are depressing
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
