Just fell off a train. Bad.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
