we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
