I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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