So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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