oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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