Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
