I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
