Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
