I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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