There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
