Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
