Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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