that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
