I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
