Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My balls are so social today.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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