hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
