he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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