She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
