3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just high enough for therapy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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