I think scott just propositioned me for sex
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
3pm strippers are depressing
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
