eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
