I need to stop coming to work sober
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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