She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just want to make out with him forever
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
