ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
