Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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