was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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