And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
