That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
