Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
