Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
