the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Your dad touched me again.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
