No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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