David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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